Tuesday, February 28;
prep time
scared anxious upset troubled disturbed worried petrified uncomfortable nervous tensed uptight bothered uneasy terrified paralyzed
outside, the leaves whisper among themselves. the sky turns into a turmoil of colours with the swirling of pale weary clouds. grey, ash, black, ink. the air is stale, laced with anxiety that kills, chokes and strangles the unaware. the stream of silence is penetrated by the faraway barking of dogs. the kissing of a white porcelain china cup against the long elegant neck of the matching china water pot. the brushing of a metal latch caressing the arm of the metal gate nearby. the ceiling fan spins without a stop, almost yelling with tremendous speed, in attempt to dissipate the rising bad qi. time trickles away, the sea of a thousand emotions continue to boil, the hurricane of paranoia is approaching and you suddenly doubt of the sun's usual scheduled appearance tomorrow morning.
"..after the rain, the sun. after the sun, the rain.." she tells herself, yet her heart still finds it hard to take in such make belief. what if it's the long rainy monsoon period again, that never seems to end? what if the sun oversleeps? what ifs. almost struggling against the recurring tears, she stubbornly tries to fight back, with whatever pathetic weapons she has left, among the scars and scabs. it's a long tiring war that she has kept trying to fight, with the words still painfully screaming in her mind, "..it's your doing..it's what you caused..no one else is to blame". it's a war to fight alone, no matter how strategic it was made. the fighting spirit is running low, she flings the angry tears away, trying not to let it cloud her view.
maybe tomorrow's sunshine will be the brightest. maybe the clouds would do a little perfect dance. maybe the air is saturated with positive vibes. maybe it'll be a wonderful start of march. maybe He might be extra lenient and pitifully hands me another chance card, one of the many He gives out freely but not necessarily grateful of. maybe, it's a new adventure.
thanks to all the thoughtful well-wishers, im claiming, hoarding, guarding & being greedy about luck this time ;)but i can spare just a bit, to all those relevant candidates: freakin' good luck
Labels: school, wounded
coatedwithcaramel; [21:46]
