from the very first time i opened my eyes this morning, it felt wrong. somehow even with the cool crystal dew and the blue misty sky at 7 that both tried to comfort, it wasnt a day we both wanted. but it had to go on. the whole journey there was like in a vacuum, words seemed unnecessary. as we realized the past few days. embraces were just warmer, more comforting, words spoken were more sentimental, hearts were woven tighter, maybe almost too good for each other. in the end, our parting seemed abit too rushed for the truth to sink in or for the actual realization of the fact. you went off one direction, so did we but a different one. and before your parting lines above, in your words: "He likes to play pathetic fallacy on us, isnt it."

the sudden feeling is rather weird. somehow everything around you seems louder, brighter, harder, noisier, etc. you tend to get stunned by things more. you get easily shocked. you dont realize that you are day-dreaming longer, starring into space more. you get quieter, more silent, more reserved and less spontaneous. as though some part of you has been chipped off. you do not notice the passing minutes that disappear just too fast for your liking or that the time seems to be scraping against reality, resisting the quickened seconds as its reluctance screams everywhere.

the rain seems to hit harder, the thunder seems to be yelling into your eardrums, your heart beats slower, your limbs are like boulders. does this feel normal? i dont think so. it's the initial sense of loss maybe, i guess, i hope, i wish.

funny how it seems it has been going on for a looooong long while isnt it? maybe it's cos we didnt know it's gonna be like this 2 years ago when you & i just got to know each other in auntie jolene's silly jj kbox couch with sy & zhihan. haha

well one thing's for sure, i'll be missing you my bigthing ;)