do you know it rains awfully hard every Good Friday?

such a timely, habitual coincidence isn't it.


Dear you,

I hope you're doing well since many many many Good Fridays ago. You obviously don't read, much less read my blog, but if you do know, I had a blog entry on unforgettable dates. And lucky you, yours is Good Friday.

Every Good Friday I get the same feeling of a little sadness, heave a little sigh that's filled with nostalgia and a filmstrip in the mind just starts rolling. It gets even more poignant that it rains, hard, every Good Friday at around the same time many years back. That's your day. I'm sure you remember.

I remember I never even got to see you before you left.

I remember vividly that I was at the National Library, the old one that is, outside under some stone shelters with some of my schoolmates - we met to discuss group work or something. It was pouring, it was thundery and very generous with lightning. I remember seeing the excess water runoff from high ground pouring like a waterfall down to the main road.

I got the news about you and I was utterly upset, I was distracted and very very anxious. I was worrying and praying so hard in the car on the way to church. I didn't really have the right mind to be at mass properly. It was hard to ever be home without still expecting you to be around. Did you know after that what we all did? We distributed flyers all over the estate and every glimpse of some similarity mommy saw, she'd think it would be you.

You've been gone for years but it's hardly ever possible to forget you.

Every time Good Friday comes by, I get slightly anxious and jittery, making sure the same situation won't happen again. That the main gate was always closed and Tehping's in sight. Well, she, maybe unlike you, tends to prefer refuge below the side dining table so I really don't think it would happen again. But really, slight paranoia always sets in on Good Fridays.

You have hardly disappeared from my mind.

You're amazingly energetic, lovely, handsome, awfully lovable, very naughty, greedy, playful, expressive, excitable, loyal, attention-seeking (to the point that you actually didn't mind taking pictures! Very unlike Tehping) and the list can go on. If you came back now, at this exact moment, doubt not that we'll take you whatever state you are in and love you the same way, or actually, more. You know, I think Tehping might be a little annoyed you're around cos you just would've automatically stolen the seniority spot, but I think she'll secretly love to have company :)

You've to share it with Jesus, but Good Fridays are and always will be a tribute to you too.

You are always missed, Happy. Always.

Love,
Hui Tze

Labels: insides, nostalgia

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